YOUR FIRST NEED IS FOR CERTAINTY
YOUR BELIEFS
I need to feel secure, safe, and comfortable and I need to make sure that I will be secure, safe, and comfortable in the future. Avoiding pain is very important to me. I can’t be happy when I’m uncertain about things.
How this Belief Serves You
I avoid risks and I carefully plan for the future. I’m careful and I take care of myself. People know I am predictable. I know how to be organized.
The Principles You Lost Sight Of
The future is unpredictable; all we have is the present moment. Where there is no risk, there is no gain. It is possible to be uncertain about the future, yet happy in the present.
The Consequences of Losing Sight of This Principle
I limit my new experiences. I have trouble letting love flow when I don’t feel secure and comfortable. I have trouble involving myself with people for fear that they will cause me pain. People sometimes think that I’m controlling. I may seem unenthusiastic and even boring. I am predictable at the cost of being spontaneous.
CHARACTER
Focus
I focus on stability, on habitual routines, and on preparing and saving for the future. I prefer work that is stable and easy instead of work that is challenging and stretches my abilities.
Energy
I put my energy into organizing a secure and comfortable environment. I’m focused inwardly on evaluating my level of comfort-‐discomfort.
Health
I like to take care of myself, but my need for comfort may lead me to overeating or drinking.
What You Avoid
I tend to avoid new people and new experiences. I avoid relationships where there is not a full commitment. I avoid threats and hazards. I fear not being in control.
Strengths
I am organized, reliable, and dependable. I can create a home and work environment that is pleasing and where people can feel comfortable.
Communication Style
I often talk about my internal states, emphasizing whether I feel grounded, protected, and safe. Words that I frequently use are: comfort, security, stability, and predictability.
Stress
I am stressed when something new is required of me, when I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Changes in plans, even if there are new opportunities, stress me out. I put pressure on myself to make sure I don’t feel insecure.
Defensiveness
I get defensive when I’m required to change my habits or to deal with new people and new situations. I can get angry when people challenge my need to feel comfortable and to have predictability in my life.
Emotions
I worry a great deal about the future. I’m very sensitive to danger and experience fear easily. I sometimes envy people who have more money or a larger income than I do.
GROWTH AND BALANCE
Your Goal
My goal is to be able to live in the present, to experience the moment without focusing on what will happen next and what the future might hold. I need to take some risks in order to reap some benefits. I need to accept that uncertainty and insecurity are a part of life.
What To Do
I need to stretch myself by learning new things and having new experiences. Instead of fear and anxiety, I need to learn to experience excitement and joy. I need to learn to enjoy a challenge. I need to develop courage and be able to act even when I feel insecure. I need to get a reality check from others about my fears and concerns.
What Interferes with Your Goal
My wish to feel comfortable and to plan for the future interferes with my goal. I am overprotective and controlling. I require too much certainty. I can be pessimistic about the future.
How Others Can Support You in Your Goal
Others can support me by introducing me to new experiences and by encouraging more spontaneity and fun. They can counter my doubts and fears in realistic ways.
