Tony Robbins 6 Basic Human Needs: #1 The Need for Love/Connection

6 human needs tony robbins Nov 15, 2021

The first step to living a fulfilled life is understanding the six basic human needs.

These needs are not things that you can buy or give to yourself, but they are essential for your continued growth and development as a person. The concept of these needs was birthed by Sigmund Freud, contributed to by many psychologists over the years, and most famously pulled together by Brooklyn-born American psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970). He proposed six basic human needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, self-actualization, and transcendence.

My mentor Tony Robbins adapted this theory into one of the best tools for life transformation: The Six Basic Human Needs Assessment. The needs are Love/Connection, Variety, Significance, Certainty, Growth, and Contribution. The first four needs are necessary for survival and a successful life. The last two needs (growth and contribution), are necessary to experience a fulfilled life.

Take your FREE 6 Basic Human Needs Assessment today

The 6 Basic Human Needs Assessment finds your top core needs – and then explains how to improve and balance your life.

You’ll get your personal and detailed results and It’s 100% free. There are quite a lot of questions (84 to be exact), but seeing results is really worth it!

Why are the six basic human needs so important to understand?

It is important to understand they are not goals nor merely desires, but profound needs that underlie and motivate every choice, every belief, and every decision we make.

Today, we are going to talk about the core need for Love/Connection

If Love/Connection is your top need, Your Beliefs

In order to feel worthy I need to love and be loved. I need to have meaningful connections with people. If I’m not loved and I can’t give my love, I’m worthless.

How This Belief Serves You

I’m kinda generous to those I love and I can be fiercely protective of them. I’m nurturing and responsible.

The Principles You Can Lose Sight Of

You must love yourself first. You are not indispensable to others. To be loved is not equal to being needed.

The Consequences of Losing Sight of This Principle

In thinking of others first, I repress my own needs. I can become intrusive. Often I’m unable to say “no.” Because by giving to others I expect to be loved, I’m often disappointed. I’m often not aware of my own needs. I can be intrusive without realizing it.

Let's look at a few ways, positive and negative, we satisfy our need for love and connection... 

Positive means: 

  • love and connection from immediate family members and/or close friends through quality time
  • connection with community and/or work
  • performing good deeds, volunteering
  • being kind, receiving kindness
  • marital intimacy
  • words of affirmation
  • cuddling with your partner or your children
  • loving on your pets
  • connection to religion
  • giving/receiving gifts
  • eye contact
  • acts of service
  • physical affection
  • joining club

Negative means: 

  • dominating and controlling others who are forced to show appreciation to you because you help them with one of their dire needs
  • being helpless so people have to take care of you (attention, compassion, physical/financial help
  • always talking about your illness (creates connection, love, and empathy from others)
  • staying depressed (you receive attention, compassion, empathy, and help from others)
  • emotional eating (a form of self-love, self-soothing, self-connection)
  • deviant sexual activity (connection, superficial love, attention)
  • addiction (a form of self-soothing, self-connection)
  • children displaying rebellion or other bad behavior to seek attention from busy or neglectful parents

Ask yourself these questions: 

  • What do you do to feel love and connection? Is it by giving, receiving, or both?
  • What do you do to receive love and connection from others?
  • How do you give love and connection to others?
  • Do you experience love on a regular basis or do you hold back because of fear?
  • How can you improve your fulfillment of love and connection in healthy ways moving forward?